Anchorswut

Can I call it disappointment? Or is it anger and sadness? Or should I should put it in plain words that Im lost and frustrated. A year ago Ive been feeling this shit, feeling wrong and doubtful about my own judgement. I think its right. You treat her better than you treat me. You could speak happily to her, and the next second, be as cold as ice to me. You could ask about her day, and simply ignore my very existence. I’m your daughter, not her. Even when they broke up, I could feel the sadness in your eyes and I know, it was fear. Fear of that she’s not going to come here and be with your son anymore. Perhaps you’re trying to make up for the lack of concern you never got to show your son, that’s why now you show tons of concerns to his girlfriend? What about me daddy? Who am I? Why do you treat me this way? Even during my exams, you won’t even bother asking how I’m coping, or whether or not inside I’m dying for recognition, your recognition. Even when i’m struggling to keep up with everyone, you never slowed down to take a good look at me. I covered the blankets for you at night, I took care of you when your sick, I was the one who repeatedly reminded you about your meals and medicines. I was the one who told you I love you every morning. So this is what I get in return, not even a simple recognition, or care and concern towards me. Your days may suck, but I’d always hope that you’d come home hoping to see me, hoping that I could brighten up your day. But no. It’s not me you hoped for. I don’t know where I went wrong, but I know today’s disappointment wasn’t an overnight issue. You just had to do it, didn you. You just had to make me feel worthless, incompetent as compared to her didn you? I won’t forget you asking for her the moment you came home that one time. I won’t. I hope one day you’ll realize daddy, that I’m your little daughter all this while, dying for your care, concern and just that a bit more love. And a part of me just died inside, it’s indescribable……